...how much little, pointless things can mean to you. And sometimes, you don't even realize how much they really meant to you, or how much they affected your life, until they're being taken away from you.

I almost didn't want to write this as a journal entry out of embarrassment, but you know what? Fuck it. If there's anyone who thinks I'm stupid, it doesn't matter to me at all.

A couple of days ago, I got a notice when I logged into Facebook (something I rarely do anymore) that Pet Society, the game I've been playing for the last 4 years, was 'retiring'. It's shutting down a little over a month from now. I hadn't played too much the last few months, so I was a little surprised that they would suddenly make a decision like that. Hundreds of people, myself included, spent so much time playing that silly game, so many hours, and in some cases, spent so much real money on it. A long time ago, I realized how much money I was spending on the game, and decided to open up an art shop to earn 'Cash Coins' for items instead of spending my own REAL money, but regardless, money was spent.

I quickly became attached to my pet, Choob. The little blue guy that I had created and named on a whim had become almost like a friend to me, established a personality, a home, likes and dislikes, and before I realized it, I had become authentically attached to him. Playing the game, stepping into his world and buying and arranging stupid flash items had become a calming, relaxing way of escaping reality. It was fun.

In the forums, I made so many friends, one of which has become one of my dearest friends, even if we've never met in person. My art shop thrived, and I had so much fun doing commissions for wonderful people. In a weird way, Pet Society became a big part of my life for a long time. Talking to these people, drawing these pictures, and opening the game to see Choob excitedly wave at me had become a normal part of my routine.

When I found out the game was shutting down a couple of days ago, I guess I really didn't know how to react. I sort of said, "Aw well, I figured it would happen sooner or later." I tried to open the game to check on everything, but the servers were acting up and it wouldn't load.

Tonight, I went to the forums to see what everyone was saying. I went straight to the sticky announcing the deactivation of the game, and the responses were a lot more heart-breaking than I had anticipated. It wasn't just me... So many people had taken comfort in their pets, in this pointless flash-game-style world, and so many people were admitting how much their pets meant to them. I found myself getting teary just reading some of the replies, so I left and tried to load Pet Society again. This time, it loaded for me, and I was greeted, as always, by a happy Choob, waving and smiling at me. I found myself getting oddly emotional.

As silly as it seems, I felt like spending time with him. I opened up my inventory and realized that all of the items I'd worked so hard for, all of these 'rare' items that took so long to horde, they were all worthless now. In a little over a month, they were going to be nothing but inaccessible scrambled data on a forgotten server. So I thought, what the hell? I pulled out some of the rarest food items I had and gave them to Choob to eat. He was hungry, after all. And it didn't matter anymore WHAT he ate, so why not give him the rarest food, while it was still special? He deserved it.

For old times sake I put on some music that I used to listen to all the time while playing the game, and cheered myself up a bit by taking care of Choob's petlings and harvesting fruit.

It hit me about then. I was saying goodbye. I was literally saying goodbye to my fictional friend, someone who used to be there for me when I felt like no one else was, someone who comforted me effortlessly during dark times, someone I wouldn't be allowed to see or interact with once the deadline was up. And I cried. Not blubbering or anything, but I cried.

Anyway. Writing this out actually made me feel a lot better. I know this is dumb, but I really do feel like I'm losing a friend.
But I still have a month. Maybe I'll re-arrange some rooms, or spend the 1,000,000+ gold I still have on completely random shit.

To everyone I still know on dA from PS, I'm sorry you'll be losing your pets as well. I know you guys have worked just as hard as I have (if not harder) to get to where you are in the game.

Blahh. Thanks for listening.